Neil Dentan HatarN^

Before I met Her, I was able to show my feelings. But that changed when I got the wrong answer after expressing these feelings. Yes, I am talking about love. It's hard for me to express love, because I'm constantly thinking about that time I got the answer I feared. Now I fear to even express myself emotionally. I can't do it, I just can't do it. I want to show her that I do like her, but I can't do that because I am afraid and it's because of Her. Yes, capital h. Which means that it's somebody that has a key-role in my life. Her with a non-capital h is somebody else. The easiest way for me to express my feelings is through the English language. It's more simple doing it in English, at least for me it is. I don't know why, maybe because English is a huge part of my life. Hell, I am thinking in English in my head. That might sound weird but it's actually easier talking to yourself that way.

I just don't want to lose this one only because I have this fear for the answer I don't want to hear. It echoes throughout my head all the time, constantly reminding me of what happened back then. It scarred me for life. Please help me being able to express my feelings to this new girl. I really enjoy being with her..

But I don't blame Her for it. It was inevitable. Nothing's Her fault, she has Her own opinion and feelings about things, that's something I can't control. I guess in the end..

It was because of me.